Monday, September 25, 2017

9 YEARS A COMEDY.

"Don't be so upset when people reject you. Nice things are rejected all the time by people who can't afford them..." -Lady Gaga

The best part of being an artist is putting yourself out there.

The worst part about being an artist is putting yourself out there.

I've always held my head high when it comes to rejection. I mean, I've LITERALLY had a door slammed in my face and I'm still standing. So, take it in strides...

But something lately isn't sitting right. The rejection has become almost engulfing.

Before I was insecure with my work so when I faced rejection it was "Oh, ok, I can do better." And then I would. Another class. Workshop. Script. Film something. Write a ton. Grow, grow, grow...

Now. Now I FINALLY feel comedically (yes, I make up my own words.) myself. I am in my true skin. A comic, a creative ZERO F'S force, a brunette warrior. Men in this business don't intimidate me. I see them looking.

'Oh she's going to tell some dick joke or white girl wasted story.'

I sit back in my short skirt, grin, and run circles around their sexists and mostly racists jokes. I'm nice but I'm still a girl from Cleveland... don't fuck with me.

So after 9 years of it all, rejection has evolved into a place in my heart I didn't see coming, and it's  horribly painful. Physically painful. Emotionally. This is a whole new chapter I've never experienced and I'm in it as I write this blog.

You can never figure rejection out. What do you mean you don't see the warrior? But you LAUGHED at my jokes? You 'LOVED' my writing... What do you mean NEXT and NO and SORRY?

I believe in sharing the good and the bad. Because there is some comic, actress, housewife, teacher, astronaut, dog walker out there saying "I'm giving it my all. Where are my dreams?" You are not alone.

Comedy has been my heart and blood for 9 years. This last year has been the hardest working and also the most destructive on my heart. I don't know exactly where an artists goes from here...

"When God calls, pick up the damn phone." -Lady Gaga

XXOO
Meg