Life in the Unemployment Fast Lane...A Love Story!

Picture it, NEW YORK CITY! Bright lights, Broadway plays, comedy (some not so funny) any night of the week, and your RedLipstick Gal ready to take on the world! Well, at least the local comedy clubs.

I've lived in NYC for over a year now. I've sold out shows (#Blessed), bombed shows, started my own non profit, dated 2 terrible men, couldn't find a cab at 4am, and found the perfect slice of pizza, and made friends with my doorman, Steve. Ok, he's actually a homeless guy who sleeps in front of my shady murder looking building, but he makes me feel safe. No one is going to climb over his crazy ass to rob me. (Fingers crossed.)

New York has adventures at every turn. Handsome men in suites. Auditions! It's been so fantastic! So thrilling! So... so HARD! (I just said that in my best Jesse Spano, Save By the Bell voice.)

I've never been fired. Ok I take that back. I was fired from a hosting job in Chicago once because I was bored and went to Starbucks to grab a coffee. I was 20. Give me a break. I couldn't legally drink and you want me to check ID's?

Minus that little blunder, I was super shook that I was fired TWICE in 4 months. Especially for shitty reasons not in my control. The NYC twinkly glasses fell right off and I don't have enough dollars to buy a new pair. Life in NYC is hard when you're broke. Way harder than L.A. Like... way WAY harder...

...And I've learned it well, the hard way.

Welcome to life in the unemployment lane! Just like my favorite chain Charming Charlies (R.I.P. CC!), when you're unemployed in NYC.... EVERYTHING MUST GO!

Netflix, sigh... NO more chill.
Health Insurance. The power of Prayer better be working over time.
Multiple night fun drinks or dinners with friends. Gah. This one hurts the most.

I love NYC but I've quickly learned, it ain't for the poor henny! New York is EXPENSIVE. An avocado costs $4 in NYC. LA $0.99 (Ugh, I miss you Ralph's) I've added Avocado to my Christmas list this year. So fancy or even Happy Hour evenings out with friends, has to go. Oh and "Happy Hour" is like $1 off a $20 cocktail so don't think I'm Frauline Maria (First of MANY Sound of Music references.. BUCKLE UP.) giving up everything for a life of solitude.


Applying for jobs I'm pretty sure I'm over qualified for and realizing I'm 1 of 276 applicants makes me want to see if Monster is hiring high end Platonic Hookers. You know, girls who make up to $2,000 a night just playing Monopoly and eating food from some rich old dudes fridge while he's asleep on the couch cause he's 90. Those jobs exist right?

Sigh. I won't lie to you Beauties. I am seriously almost out of cash. Double sigh... my savings. My home I was going to buy. This is the part in Sound of Music where Maria sits on the acorn at the dinner table and gets accosted by her boss. The boss is every job I am not getting and NYC are those shitty Vonn Trap kids I was trying to get to know. Damn you Gretl.

The good news is I can't sing or dance.. BUT I CAN KAYAK! NYC has some rad free things to do in summer from outdoorsy goods to indoor conversations. Go air condition! So it's about changing my can't-atude to a "kick hateful Nazi ass and run through the hills in positivity-tude."

I'll follow up in 1 month. I'll either be homeless or employed, hopefully not as a governess. Little kids don't like me.

#BetterThanYesterday

Breathe.

These last few months have been a shit-storm of violence, bigotry, public safety uncertainty, and an overall F-ING clown filled political circus.... On BOTH sides.

Who else has walked around at one point or another feeling a sense of complete and total helplessness?

ISIS
Omran Daqneesh (Syrian boy in the ambulance).
Nice
Paris
San Bernardino
Sudan gang rapes
Orlando PULSE Nightclub shooting
Aylan 'Alan' Kurdi (young refugee boy who drowned seeking a better life)
Boko Haram
Police violence
Anti Muslim Racists
RAPE Case dismissals
Cop murders
Refugee Crisis
Climate meltdown...floods and fires.
Trump.. Hillary... Oh Lord.

Raise your hand.

Well I'm in the game of comedy... So to all the comics who have dealt with the list above and MORE the past few months and STILL managed to be FUNNY....

I STAND AND APPLAUD YOU.

Sure, I still create. I put one foot in front of the other, write, produce #DriversMeg, network, marathon train, reach out to my agent, audition-eerrr or don't... but I can't lie, I feel unsure about humor lately... about laughing. Some days I think to myself;

"How do I be funny when I feel so helpless? There is so much evil. What can one joke bring?"

Like many humans I am searching for what MORE can I do?

Eleanor Goldberg of The Huffington Post wrote a BRUTALLY honest article about TRAGEDY PORN and being overconsumed with it's graphic and terrible images yet we don't really do anything about it***

DON'T LET "THE BOY IN THE AMBULANCE" BECOME TRAGEDY PORN


Like many, in the heart of all this bewildered violence and confusion, I feel lost. I want to leave this world a better place. But how? Sell my things, join Doctor's Without Borders, and move halfway around the world to a war torn- terrorist sleeper cell country? Or maybe push even harder and use my comedy to bring laughter to those who need it?

We are in this together. I too am still searching. Until I figure out my next step I promise this...

I will do better than the day before. I will honor my path SO much that it will inspire someone else to honor their path....

And maybe, just maybe, it'll cause a ripple...

#BetterThanYesterday

Love,
Meg

P.S. Incredible political art by @Khalidalbaih
Still think refugees should be turned away?

....My heart is with you Aylan and Omran.

(***I HIGHLY recommend reading her article. I also 1000% urge you to take at least ONE of her ideas on ways to help and turn it into ACTION.)