Sunday, August 5, 2012
I want the connection. -Meg Schaab, Actress/BallBuster
Do what you love and pay the price. -DW Brown, Meisner coach.
“What are you pretending not to know?” -Ryan Basham, LifeCoach
“Fuck em. I want the connection.” -Meg Schaab, Actress/BallBuster
I was told to write about the above. My RedLipstick Thoughts on Anger.
What am I angry about?
Money
I work hard, scratch and scrape to make bills, spend everything on my acting and I am broke. Money has never meant much to me but I am angry that I’m one bad break of a bone or illness away from having to go home. Especially when I. Work. So. Hard. It’s hard when you don’t have much to show for it financially.
Relationships
I am lonely. I work to put money into my career and bills that I don’t have much of a life. Scratch that. I don’t have a life. No dates. I am super bad at socializing with ‘the gentlemen’ in general. I think even if I DID have a life I’d probably still miss my mark on that. Something to work on. And I miss B.
Kids/Family
I want children. I want a flock of them. Adopt. Naturally. I want a family. But not like this. Not a waitress living in a studio, broke, and alone. I won’t raise my children in LA.
Walls
Apparently I got a lot of them. Mainly about failing. I’m not afraid of success. People with real walls never realize it I guess. Someone has to put a mirror in front of their face so they can see the concrete.
The Game
Game playing. Game playing the business. Game playing in LA. Real feelings-emotions-letting yourself be a fool. I can do that. No shame in my game. But game playing in networking, it’s needed. It’s always present. It’s always something I hate. I don’t want to live my life game playing. People won’t genuinely connect to game playing. I want the connection.
Acting
The one thing I am not angry about. The only thing at this point. I am a damn good actress. I work hard. I am talented. I push boundaries. I am not afraid to take chances.
I want it to count.
I want the connection.
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At the end of the day its all about the ART baby. I see a connection in this post with my most recent post: http://julian-conrad.com/wordpress/
ReplyDeleteAnd remember: if it were easy, then everyone could do it.