WarriorLove

You can't not talk about it. You can't not think about it. Newton.

Life can put such scare into people.

I don't do fear. Sure I get scared but not fear. In the wake the pain, the hatred, and the sadness; I choose Happiness.

There is peace that is within me, I've never known. I am stronger and more focused than ever. I have forgiveness. I am also a very strong person. Stronger than ever. I have also choosen to stay vunerable and open for life. A WARRIOR LIFE.

That comes with a price.

When you choose to allow yourself to genuinely love and care and be strong and vunerable and wrong and right and a fighter... it comes with a price.

You will FEEL all of these things. You will feel erratic, stable, chaotic, and calm.

YOU ARE A FORCE.

I can't change the sequences in life and how people are affected- good and bad. But I can choose to honor them by living my best self. That is the ultimate WARRIOR life.

My heart is completely shattered for the people brutally murdered. But I can't bring them back. So I honor them. I put on some heels, red lipstick, and pull myself together.

I live my best because they can no longer. And that is a warriors love.

XOXOXOX
RedLipstickLA

Guess where I am? Love, Marilyn

Saying yes to everything. Living from a point of happiness.

Triumps and tragedies, share it all. Live it all.

HOW TO BE A REDLIPSTICK LADY.. 
(In 10 quotes...)

10.) "Guess where I am?" Love, Marilyn - Marilyn Monroe, her last postcard (Carry a sense of mystery with you, always.)

9.) Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.
      -Greta Garbo (True strength.)

8.)  I don't want the 5 dollars in your pocket, I want your soul. -Lady Gaga (My LOVE for you to love my work.)

7.) You can never be too rich or too thin. -Wallis Simpson (My Hollywood Insecurities)

6.) Don't underestimate the things that I will do... - Adele (RedLipstick Motto)

5.) It's a whole lot harder to shine, than undermine. -Nashville (RedLipstickRespect one another)

4.) Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. -Oprah  (My inner circle)

3.) I'm on the side I'm always on, MINE. -Madonna (The REAL me)

2.) Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.-Elizabeth Taylor (How I handle the chaos)

1.) I drink. I have tatoos. I have a sharp tongue. I'm also the most loving gal who ever lived. -RedLipstickLA (My Truth)

live all. share all.
xoxoxoxo
RedLipstickGal

Dear 'The Notebook,' SHUT UP IDIOT, I LOVE YOU.

'It was real, wasn’t it? You and me. Such a long time ago, we were just a couple of kids. But we really loved each other, didn’t we?' -The Notebook

Shut up 'The Notebook.' I love you and hate you all in one sentence.

I am in a class that is making us look FOR REALS inside ourselves at the good, the bad, and the shit we hide from or pretend isn't there. It's a rad actor-life-leader-bad ass something of a class. I'll keep you updated.

Mine is (and always was) relationships. The amount of resistance I build up so I don't have to focus on a LA relationship -- through waitressing, acting, class, Humphrey, my family, my friends, my faith, my chores, my health, my making up of ANYTHING is pretty redick. (new term for ridiculous)

Ok. People can be 'burned' in relationships and have "walls" (SIDE NOTE: If you say you have 'walls'- YOU DON'T. People with REAL walls don't admit to it. Sorry bout it.)

... and then (in relationships) people can be lit on fire and left to die. One makes 'personal resistence' a little harder - BUT- it's not about focusing on the 'fire' -- it's about moving out of the burn unit and then taking a firefighter class.

I feel like a mother fucking fire fighter right now.

The last month I have been on a mission to BRING THE SEXY BACK.

Well watch out LA, cause now you've got some hyped up firefighter esque bringing sexy back girl on your hands. This is either going to turn out really awesome... or REALLY REALLY awesome.

xoxoxox
RedLipstickLA

The Foundation Room

I did not 'tier jump' in my career like I wanted, I certaintly did not put any money in the bank, and I'm still single. Three things I genuinely wanted to change about myself this year.

And I failed.

But with failure comes the universe. Life had a different plan, a better one.

My foundation was cemented this year.

My foundation in myself, my core, my beliefs, my goals, my expectations, are rock solid. Nothing can shake them.

I studied meisner, I took crazy bold chances in my acting, I workshoped, spent every hard earned penny on acting, I have been shameless, I've spiraled, I've regained control, and I have opened my heart up and have become an incredibly vunerable, inspiring-believer of my future and myself.

In "failing" all three of my goals this year I feel stronger than ever. Sure I have mopey days when I want to just hide under the covers and let the industry (and my dream man) come to me (cause it works like that, right? haha) but the moment passes because THE FOUNDATION IS SET.

I am so selfish right now but no longer closed off.

2013 is about growing, building, and stylizing my dream life.

XXOOXXO
RedLipstickLA

REHAB IS DONE!!!

Sacrifice. My middle name.

I don't let myself have too many grumpy downer moments. There are too many blessings but no one is perfect. No one can believe in themselves 365 days a year. I definetely have days when I think "fuck. I should just move to NYC or San Fran or Italy... or just back to CLE. I should just keep it simple."

The moments always gone faster than I can think of what I would actually DO if I ever quit acting. I keep my heart open to what my path is... because you just never know.

What I do know is that I'm a leader. I inspire people. I am a WARRIOR who SACRIFICES and takes chances. I am bold. I am fearless. And I'm arrogant as fuck... but with a heart. Muwah!

I'm not a total machine... but I want the top spot. I have the sacrifice in my heart and soul to get it.

WORKAHOLICS REHAB IS DONE!!!

I am 'living for me' but with a work 'smarter not harder.' Still a work in progress but I am on my way...

XOXOXOXO
RLG

Day28 Ya gotta BELIEVE.

I believe..

Bugs Bunny is forever and always the best cartoon.

tennis shoes are for the gym and boots for da' terrain: EVERY GAL (and most transgendered) should wear HEELS.

people with dementia may be losing their minds, but it's ok because their memories live in their hearts... and thats where counts the most.

"the best" are always "a mess." So don't tell me to iron my shirt.

people who commit suicide go to heaven (not hell). God does not abandon us in our darkest hour.

in plastic surgery.

writing letters by hand is sexier than any text, facebook message, or email.

mad-for-it make a fool out of yourself, nothing is off limits PDA PDA PDA kind of love is for EVERYONE.

in forgiveness... but not forgetness.

in recyclying... but I still take hour long showers.

in my drive, strength, and persistence will pay off.

BELIEVE MY LOVES.

XXOOxOxXOOoo,
RedLipstickGal

Holiday spirit.

I am gung ho on the holidays this year (pictures to come)!

Trees, cards, ornaments, lights, and OLD HOLLYWOOD! HOlidaY BeLiEVing!!

Holiday spirit is 'living for me' and 'bringing the sexy back.' It's believing.

I chose a few weeks ago to live like a working actress. Why not? I don't spend like I'm a working actress but I believe it's all happening, it's on it's way! Wardrobe, hair, nails, apartment, gym, car (that one's for Liz), and being out and about!!

I want to be REDLICIOUS READY on the day I sign my working actress contracts!!

It doesn't have to be the HoOLLidaYS to BeLlLiIeeEEVe!!!

DAY22-23 HeartOpen & LOVE BehindMyEyes

I worked on election night.

Two of the MOST POWERFUL MEN sat in my section. The CEO of a MAJOR movie studio and HIS HUSBAND, a President of one of the most A-List elite hotels in LA.

I sat and watched the two of them, barely breathing-or speaking a word-hand in hand, as they watched the election results come in. TWO OF THE MOST POWERFUL/RICH MEN WHO ARE TERRIFIED SOMEONE WILL TAKE AWAY THEIR LIFE... THEIR HAPPINESS.

One man has changed the history and inspired an ENTIRE WORLD with movies, scripts, and stars. The other has created an entire empire with his professionalism, class, and brains. And they sat their terrified it would be taken away. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.

I believe in LGBT rights.

Human rights are EVERYTHING to me. I could never support ANY PERSON, even my dearest friends who believe the LGBT community are second class citizens.

I have hope. Something better is coming for ALL OF US.

Keep your heart open. And love behind your eyes.

XXOOxO
RedLipstickGal

Day 21. Not, My. Day.

Whatever you believe. Or don't... I believe that God, the universe, mother earth, guardian angels - got my back.

It's funny and annoying as hell how life will test your beliefs. What I put out into the universe I am ALWAYS tested on. How much do I believe in what I'm going for? I'll be tested...

Love, career, and always the inner workings I say I'm want to change in myself. TESTED.

Ohhhhh the universe shall test you.

I hate it. Hahahahahaha.

It's so much easier said that done to keep going when you are going after your dreams. Clearly this post is me having a rough few days. I am working my ass off. The real living for me comes in the TRUST. This is the hardest part of my workaholics rehab. Trusting all of my sacrifice, hard work, and beliefs are being looked after - somebodys got my back.

XoXXooOO
RedLipstickGal

Life goes where SHE goes. WorkaholicsRehab Day17-20

I trust.

My talent will meet THE opportunity.

When I can't afford acting class I watch Old Hollywood Movies on Netflix. There is still to this day no acting better than old hollywood. DRAMA!! Love.Love.Love the suttlety...

When I can't afford groceries I eat brussel sprouts and sip red wine. Glam starving actress... ALWAYS glam.

I believe in putting not only my love but my money into my career. And happiness into my life.

I trust.

The workaholic is slipping away... Trust is harder than it looks. But I trust.

Happiness isn't lazy and it's not irresponsible. I trust.

No big whoops. Happiness behind my eyes.

DAY15-16. Workaholics Rehab *BringingSexyBACK

Year of the 29. Getting back to me. Bringing 'the sexy back!' Workaholics aren't very sexy. Hahaha.

I'm a ball buster. I'm a difficult..in a good way! I'm a diva. I shine and I am not going to let some Beverly Hills jagoff make me feel bad about myself because I'm going for my dreams and waitressing to pay the bills until it happens. Cause it will happen.

I don't want some LA fool just because. Shoot- great idea, let me just lose myself in some man that has a ton of money (or pretends to) only to have him leave me in 10 years for a girl half my age. I'll make my own money AND bring the sexy back! Living for me.

I don't date often but I will say - DAMN... I'm a great girlfriend. It's true. No big whoops.

29 is bringing "the sexy back." This is living for me. Small things like keeping my nails manicured to big things like going on a date and allowing someone to buy me dinner. How hilarious is it that i've taken care of myself for so long that it's actually HARD for me to let someone (even a friend) buy me a drink or dinner. It's disgustingly hard. Anxiety101. But i'm getting better at it.

BRING YOUR SEXY BACK WARRIORS!

XoXXooOO
RedLipstickGal

2 TIPS I LIVE BY. (DAY14)

Over the years I have picked up 2 tips I live by daily;

1. ALWAYS fill in your eyebrows.
2. Never be afraid.

I am not afraid to put myself out there for my career. I make bold choices, I have no shame in my game, I love to talk, live through a scene no matter what the stakes, and I LOVE when people are inspired by me. So I CAN'T be afraid. I owe it to people. It's an honor to connect with people.

Plus the person who gave me this advice is the bravest person I know. My inspiration.

Oh and the eyebrows, my FIRST agent in Chicago took one look at me and said;
"Darling, you 'Got It.' Now lose 15lbs and don't ever leave the house without filling in your brows."

...Hahahaha! What a witch. I love it.

XoXXOOoo
RedLipstickGal

DAY13. WORKAHOLICS REHAB.

Day 13
"You can't see in others what you don't already have in yourself."-TDL

This plays both ways. Haters and motivators. I have been amazing at changing my thought process and excepting all that my 'non workaholic' life is offering me.

A big part of the workaholics rehab is discovering why I work beyond what is considered 'healthy.'

At day 13 I can finally say why;

Work fills my voids.

The voids of:
- not being a mom yet
- plain old loneliness
- control issues with $$$
(I have to be a breadwinner)

Some people emotionally eat, drink, sleep around, or don't sleep at all to fill voids. I work.

This is so fucking hard to say out-loud... For everyone to see. But I love to inspire through my own triumphs and tragedies. I think as an actress I owe the "openness."

XoxXOXoxo
RedLipstickGal

DAY11-13. Claim it.

Side note: Wohoo. I was living so much for me I didn't have time to blog. Taking this 30 day rehab one day at a time.

I don't want to depend on anyone. 100% a control issue-fear I have. No big whoops.

When I meet someone. When I finally settle down I want to be able to offer another person a LIFE. A real life. I don't have that right now. I have my life, which I love because I'm working for something real, I'm sacrificing everything... I will accomplish everything.

LA men and I don't mesh well. I'm not a model, I don't have money, and I DON'T WANT THEIR money. So there isn't too much I can offer. Most days I'm cool with this. I'm mean for reals ya'll, there is some good stuff going on here. (Haha)

My goals are within reach. Living for me. I will accomplish everything.

DAY10 Me VS. Dirty Dishes.

Side Note: I was challenged to take 30 days and really "live" my life. I am 100% a workaholic and do not want/can't continue to travel down this path. This is my 30 day challenge. Thanks for checking in on my journey....

DAY 10
Balance. I have to work. But the balance is the hard part. I haven't done my dishes in 3 days. I don't think this is what I was 'going for' with workaholics rehab. Do I lack balance? Ok. I am terrible at balance. I am a burn the candle. Not a both ends. Just burn it kind of gal. Because if I don't - I just go bylissfulllll lazy. B-lazy with massive anxiety. Dirty dishes. DDddiiirrtyyyy dishes. They are just freaking sitting there. Hanging out. I can relax. I can 'let go.' I can 'relax.' I can 'date.' I got this. I am basically sittying here laughing at this DAY10 post.

I am so lame.

Holy Gosh I need this woraholics rehab. I need a life...

Tomorrow is my birthday. I wish for balance.

Update: I did my dishes.

XXxxooXOOO,
RedLipstickGal

DAY9. It's Personal AND It's Business.

Nothing personal. It's just business. Yeah fucking right.

"It's personal. And it's business." -My life, Actress/Diva.

I have an addiction for MSNBC 'Locked Up Raw.' The deadliest men on the planet who fear nothing. Men who live to fight. Life in prison- no chance of parol. Human emotion is insane. EACH and EVERY man has something that makes them feel EMBARASSED. It's personal. Teeth, noses, orphaned, grey hair... it's wild. Not afraid to die but bad teeth = mortifying.

It's ALWAYS Personal. I don't trust anyone who plays it too cool, has no secrets, and acts like everything is "always fine." Don't get me wrong, it's not about complaining. (Never complain, never explain.) It's about living. Truthfully.

I believe in sharing my triumps and tragedies because why not? I'm so blessed to be able to do what I do.

"Life is short. People that only think about their career 100% I think, we are lucky to do what we do- "shut it off." -Miley Cyrus

I am so appreciative of all the support I've recieved over my writing and acting throughout the years. Especially this 30 day workaholics challenge. I genuinely love inspiring. By my words. Actions.

That is my biggest reason to live for me - good and the bad. I love and live to inspire.

DAY8: BRING IT. OWN IT.

Side Note: I was challenged to take 30 days and really "live" my life. I am 100% a workaholic and do not wan't/can't continue to travel down this path. This is my 30 day challenge. Thanks for checking in on my journey....
Oh sweet  mary mother of god today was the little engine that could f-up every which way humanly possible and then break down on the side of the road in the hood... In a hilarious way.

I finally just said "eh, suck it- day", walked around Hollywood, and now I'm watching 'Chelsea Lately' for comedic inspiration. She is a freaking genius and I adore women who own it. Good. Bad. Own it.

I am an "own it" girl. I banter, make fun, but genuinely care about where I go in life.

Getting back to me = laughing more, living me, and just owning it EVEN more. I've lost a lot of "owning it" this past year by being so uber obsessed with work- so I'm getting back to my own it. Cause lordy the 0-Cher and workaholic 'own it' is always there. Not sorry.

TOP 5 'OWN IT' WOMEN
1. Chelsea Handler
2. CoCo (IceTea's wifey)
3. Lady Gaga
4. Oprah
5. Sandra Bullock

Day7... ShineOnWarriors.

72 degree - 11pm in October 17th. My big French windows are wide open (sorry i'm not sorry neighbors).

Humphrey and I are watching "Water for Elephants" with a little ol' glass of Syrah.

I LoveLoveLove Fall. It makes me sentimental and loving. It's Ohio.

Choosing 'me' on Day7: I have a wonderful life. I am living my dreams and it's ok to doubt myself sometimes. Whats even more apparaent is my 0-Cher 'Shine.'
(Oh for those of you who aren't regular Meg-lovahs... Yeah, I can diva with the best of em. Ha!)

I SHINE. And I'm not sorry.

Why not? Freaking be amazing. Shine. Be a glam. Be a godess. Be scared. Wear a 4 inch heels to Trader Joes.

Be ok to never look back.

It's ok to have haters. It's ok to let yourself SHINE.

I don't see the point with the way our economy, world, or even the incredible love that beats in my fellow warriors hearts to not do anything but shine.

Shine on my fellow warriors.

xOXOOOxo
RedLipstickGal

DAY6. Am I kidding myself?

Side Note: I was challenged to take 30 days and really "live" my life. I am 100% a workaholic and do not wan't/can't continue to travel down this path. This is my 30 day challenge. Thanks for checking in on my journey....

Living for 'me' means being able to look myself in the mirror and know I'm on my own path. I didn't sleep last night. All the old workaholic tricks started coming out. I'll just send some emails- i'll go through headshots- i'll watch tv- i'll shower- imdb-pro-i'll do anything but just admit that I'm completely sad-jealous-and totally out of order. And it's totally ok.

Reckognize not dwell.

It's not about him. It's about me. 4 years of hardwork, taking chances, and struggling paycheck to paycheck.

It's about fear. Impatience.

The fear controls how much I think i'm kidding myself. 4 years.

My heart knows I'm exactly where I am supposed to be. My heart knows I will be a mom. My heart knows I'm going to make it. My heart knows I am not 'just kidding myself.'

It keeps telling me to push past the fear. That i'm almost there, even though I am so scared that I am kidding myself.

This is the ultimate living for me.

...And it's only DAY6.

Workaholics Rehab ** SET BACK. DAY 5

Like an alcoholic- the universe is going to test your courage and faith. Are you really trying to change? I drown myself in work. Especially when my personal life takes a hit.

It took a hit.

Courage is recognizing that it's ok go be unsure when another is farther in their life than you.... Especially when that 'another' broke your heart.

It's not fair. (Yes. I'm a total child in this statement.)

But it's the living of 'anothers' dream when I'm paycheck to paycheck. Still.

Living for 'me' means having faith. REAL faith in my goals.

Sadness, uncertainty, faith... Top 3 feelings of today.
#Faith #FAITH #Faith.... just keep the faith.

Be at PEACE. DAY 4

Today was a lot more "simple me" decision. Be at peace.

I was told last year by a wonderful casting director, whom I ADORE, that as you grow in your respected field it will bring out the best and worst in people around you. I never understood her statement fully until recentley. Some people I SWORE would be 'in my corner-' are not. On the bright side I have developed some amazing relationships I never saw coming. Supporters, connections, and genuine pals who BELIEVE I have what it takes. I am so blessed.

Letting myself be at HAPPINESS and PEACE over letting those I thought would be "on board" go has been a great move for me.

I couldn't be happier in my life and I am most deffinetely flying above all the drama and right to my goals.

I am thankful I've had some ball buster pals to make me stop to look around more at what a life I have. Triumps and tragedies - I am the RedLipstickGal through and through.

XXOoXO
RedLipstickGal

Workaholics Rehab. DAY 3

Day 3
Lived the dream.
On set all day shooting and then W Hotel for a 'quick hello' birthday.

Pay me so I don't have to waitress and I'm all set!

When you live the life you know IS COMING it's the greatest feeling in the world... at the the greatest feeling until it happens.

I loved being on set. I love giving every ounce of myself and doing well. I love interracting with cast and crew alike. It's my "living for me" at my best.

Can't wait until it's a daily life.

XOXOX
RedLipstickGal

Workaholics Rehab. DAY 2

I bought myself soup and raw veggies from Whole Foods tonight. I love doing this. I never do it. Not because of the money - it's like $8. Breaking away from the starving artists lifestyle and more into the ENTITLED kind of gal act EVERYDAY in my work.

Why did it go away in my personal life?

I actually felt guilty to do something I wanted to do that wasn't $$ toward acting.

This Workaholics Rehab is deffinetely harder than I expected.

XOXOX,
RedLipstickGal

Workaholics Rehab. DAY 1

SIDE NOTE: I was challegned to take 30 days and really 'live' my life. I am 100% a workaholic and do not want/can't continue to travel down this path. This is my 30day change. Thanks for checking in on the journey!!!

DAY 1:

Today I set myself a goal: drive to Redondo to see a friend. I had planned in my head, not fully grasping the idea of ‘challenge,’ getting down there and leaving within 2-3 hours because I was going to do casting drop offs. Then life happened. 4 hours later, still focused and having fun with my friend, I started feeling anxious and agitated over “still being there.” Holy moly, I’m a full blown addict. First step is admitting.

The feelings stayed with me the entire visit and all of my way back to Hollywood. The office drop offs did not happen. They close at 5pm. However, I recognized my anxiousness and pushed past it to enjoy my time living my life away alongside acting.

Recap: Day 1 - anxious and agitated. Full blown addict.

This challenge is going to be so freaking hard. Warrior up!

XOxOxOO,
RedLipstickGal

QUEEN IMPATIENT

I've been working on a 42Day Book a Job challenge class the past 3 weeks. My goal: Book my first co star.

Tonight I volunteered for "Private coaching" that was LIVE for everyone to hear on our class phone call.

It's always uber scary letting people know your fears and hear you receive critique. Rip your chest open and let all of your goals, insecurities, and ideas be seen - and hopefully inspire and help others while its helping you.

My "resistance" is I'm impatient. I want it now and I will work 366 days at 25hours a day until I get it. Queen Impatient.

My 3 critiques:
3. Have more fun. (Not acting related)

2. When I doubt myself. Own it. Because it will pass. Don't judge it.

1. All impatience thoughts I will yell into a closed fist and then throw it over my shoulder.

So now you know. The accountability is out there. Put ya goals out there. Keep the accountability.

Keep going RedLipstick Warriors!!!

Crossing Lines. Anything Could Happen...

I don’t know what exists anymore. I know it does work. I’ve seen few who have lived it. I just don’t know if it really exists...

I've stopped judging.

Everyone is cheating. Everyone is living for the now. Everyone is getting married. Everyone is breaking up. Everyone thinks their life is the exception to the rule. It is. It’s not. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. Maybe it makes sense to wait. So you aren’t a fool. You don’t marry just the ‘runner up.’ Till you know yourself. But how many times have WE ALL HEARD "Oh you change from this age to that age AND THEN you really know yourself!!"

Why is everyone settling? And don’t comment on this post and say “People aren’t settling, you‘re jaded!” Then explain to me all the married men who ask me out, explain all the “taken” people in the bars who say ‘yeah we’re dating, I don’t know where it’s going though.“ Explain to me the really great man my lovely friend from Akron married. He is amazing. She feels so blessed. He is love. It does exist. She is my proof. The panic is over.

What if you are married and unhappy? What if you are the single girl who is lost? What if you are the man who chases girls half your age? What is you are happily married and STILL KNOW that anything can happen. Lines are crossed everyday.

I have loved 2 men in my life. I’ve lost both.

I have learned that anything could happen...

IT'S ALL HAPPENING!!!

I read somewhere once that the closer you are to living and achieving your goals the fear, haters, and anxiety will be at it's highest. It's unfortunate but it happens. You can let it drag you down or you can put on the brave face and push forward. I have chose years ago when this happens to push forward. My goals are here. I can see them and they are within my grasps. THIS IS TERRIFYING. To have everything you are working so hard for actually work? Actually happen? Actually happen for me?! To me?! Get outta town!! My goal is to book my first co star and land my first agent by the end of the year. That will have made 1 1/2 years as an LA'r with MASSIVE ACCOMPLISHMENTS. Share you goals. Share them with the barista. Share them with a cab driver. Share them with your dog. IN GENERAL PEOPLE DO WANT YOU TO SUCCEED. It's like they are apart of it to when they see your excitement and drive. The haters will fade. Keep sharing your goals!!! The more you put them out there the more the universe has to hold you accountable as it shifts to make it happen. WOW, Sharing my was just SUPER FREAKING SCARY. VOM. UGH. But it's going to happen so might as well let ya'll know about it!!! XOXOXOXOX RedLipstickGal

I want the connection. -Meg Schaab, Actress/BallBuster

Do what you love and pay the price. -DW Brown, Meisner coach. “What are you pretending not to know?” -Ryan Basham, LifeCoach “Fuck em. I want the connection.” -Meg Schaab, Actress/BallBuster I was told to write about the above. My RedLipstick Thoughts on Anger. What am I angry about? Money I work hard, scratch and scrape to make bills, spend everything on my acting and I am broke. Money has never meant much to me but I am angry that I’m one bad break of a bone or illness away from having to go home. Especially when I. Work. So. Hard. It’s hard when you don’t have much to show for it financially. Relationships I am lonely. I work to put money into my career and bills that I don’t have much of a life. Scratch that. I don’t have a life. No dates. I am super bad at socializing with ‘the gentlemen’ in general. I think even if I DID have a life I’d probably still miss my mark on that. Something to work on. And I miss B. Kids/Family I want children. I want a flock of them. Adopt. Naturally. I want a family. But not like this. Not a waitress living in a studio, broke, and alone. I won’t raise my children in LA. Walls Apparently I got a lot of them. Mainly about failing. I’m not afraid of success. People with real walls never realize it I guess. Someone has to put a mirror in front of their face so they can see the concrete. The Game Game playing. Game playing the business. Game playing in LA. Real feelings-emotions-letting yourself be a fool. I can do that. No shame in my game. But game playing in networking, it’s needed. It’s always present. It’s always something I hate. I don’t want to live my life game playing. People won’t genuinely connect to game playing. I want the connection. Acting The one thing I am not angry about. The only thing at this point. I am a damn good actress. I work hard. I am talented. I push boundaries. I am not afraid to take chances. I want it to count. I want the connection.

ADMIT IT... YOU ARE REDLICIOUS

RedTastic Bebes! Ok. Quick linkys above for a little extra pop this week! So I will say this here and now... I WILL ALWAYS DISCUSS MY TRIUMPHS AND MY TRAGEDIES. NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS. I can't stand the smoke screeners who always are talking a huge game just as much as I vom over the negative nancys who just won't stop complaining. So I will always be up front and honest about both. Straight from these red lips! Ok. I have been WAY struggling lately with "How the heck." How the heck and I going to do this acting thing, RLG (RedLipstickGlobal), relationships, tier jumping, blah blah blah... then today I had a chat with the fantastic Ryan B. who is a life coach building his business. What Ryan said rang so freaking true I wanted to jump out of my own skin. He called me the girl who uses "lists" as a way to take exits and not really focus on the DOING of getting to my dreams. I haven't been recognizing that things which have hurt me in the past or not feeling like I really genuinely can achieve my goals BECAUSE of failures in the past still prevents me from closing the deal on success. Ew I sound so rah rah go life. Vom. But it hit home how Ryan said it. I just sound like a jagoff. (haha) Ryan challenged me to answer 2 questions: 1. What am I PRETENDING not to know. 2. What am I doing to avoid things. My goal for the next week is to really focus on these 2 things. Because I AM THE GIRL WHO EVERYONE THINKS... "This girl is a fantastic whirlwind BUT I just don't know where to place her." DEATH IN AN ACTING CAREER. Half the battle is one but lost the war in the 2nd part of that sentence. It sucks balls to look deep inside yourself and admit things YOU KNOW are holding you back but are super scary to say out loud. Cause duh, what if some cute guy hears you... talking to yourself... about your faults. AWKEY!!! (Lol. Maybe do it in the privacey of your own home.) SO I WANT ALL YOUR REDTASTIC BEBES TO DO JUST THAT. Answer Ryans 2 questions. AND ADMIT IT!!! YOU ARE REDLICIOUS!!! XoREDxOXO -Meg