Workaholics Rehab. DAY 3

Day 3
Lived the dream.
On set all day shooting and then W Hotel for a 'quick hello' birthday.

Pay me so I don't have to waitress and I'm all set!

When you live the life you know IS COMING it's the greatest feeling in the world... at the the greatest feeling until it happens.

I loved being on set. I love giving every ounce of myself and doing well. I love interracting with cast and crew alike. It's my "living for me" at my best.

Can't wait until it's a daily life.

XOXOX
RedLipstickGal

Workaholics Rehab. DAY 2

I bought myself soup and raw veggies from Whole Foods tonight. I love doing this. I never do it. Not because of the money - it's like $8. Breaking away from the starving artists lifestyle and more into the ENTITLED kind of gal act EVERYDAY in my work.

Why did it go away in my personal life?

I actually felt guilty to do something I wanted to do that wasn't $$ toward acting.

This Workaholics Rehab is deffinetely harder than I expected.

XOXOX,
RedLipstickGal

Workaholics Rehab. DAY 1

SIDE NOTE: I was challegned to take 30 days and really 'live' my life. I am 100% a workaholic and do not want/can't continue to travel down this path. This is my 30day change. Thanks for checking in on the journey!!!

DAY 1:

Today I set myself a goal: drive to Redondo to see a friend. I had planned in my head, not fully grasping the idea of ‘challenge,’ getting down there and leaving within 2-3 hours because I was going to do casting drop offs. Then life happened. 4 hours later, still focused and having fun with my friend, I started feeling anxious and agitated over “still being there.” Holy moly, I’m a full blown addict. First step is admitting.

The feelings stayed with me the entire visit and all of my way back to Hollywood. The office drop offs did not happen. They close at 5pm. However, I recognized my anxiousness and pushed past it to enjoy my time living my life away alongside acting.

Recap: Day 1 - anxious and agitated. Full blown addict.

This challenge is going to be so freaking hard. Warrior up!

XOxOxOO,
RedLipstickGal

QUEEN IMPATIENT

I've been working on a 42Day Book a Job challenge class the past 3 weeks. My goal: Book my first co star.

Tonight I volunteered for "Private coaching" that was LIVE for everyone to hear on our class phone call.

It's always uber scary letting people know your fears and hear you receive critique. Rip your chest open and let all of your goals, insecurities, and ideas be seen - and hopefully inspire and help others while its helping you.

My "resistance" is I'm impatient. I want it now and I will work 366 days at 25hours a day until I get it. Queen Impatient.

My 3 critiques:
3. Have more fun. (Not acting related)

2. When I doubt myself. Own it. Because it will pass. Don't judge it.

1. All impatience thoughts I will yell into a closed fist and then throw it over my shoulder.

So now you know. The accountability is out there. Put ya goals out there. Keep the accountability.

Keep going RedLipstick Warriors!!!

Crossing Lines. Anything Could Happen...

I don’t know what exists anymore. I know it does work. I’ve seen few who have lived it. I just don’t know if it really exists...

I've stopped judging.

Everyone is cheating. Everyone is living for the now. Everyone is getting married. Everyone is breaking up. Everyone thinks their life is the exception to the rule. It is. It’s not. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. Maybe it makes sense to wait. So you aren’t a fool. You don’t marry just the ‘runner up.’ Till you know yourself. But how many times have WE ALL HEARD "Oh you change from this age to that age AND THEN you really know yourself!!"

Why is everyone settling? And don’t comment on this post and say “People aren’t settling, you‘re jaded!” Then explain to me all the married men who ask me out, explain all the “taken” people in the bars who say ‘yeah we’re dating, I don’t know where it’s going though.“ Explain to me the really great man my lovely friend from Akron married. He is amazing. She feels so blessed. He is love. It does exist. She is my proof. The panic is over.

What if you are married and unhappy? What if you are the single girl who is lost? What if you are the man who chases girls half your age? What is you are happily married and STILL KNOW that anything can happen. Lines are crossed everyday.

I have loved 2 men in my life. I’ve lost both.

I have learned that anything could happen...

IT'S ALL HAPPENING!!!

I read somewhere once that the closer you are to living and achieving your goals the fear, haters, and anxiety will be at it's highest. It's unfortunate but it happens. You can let it drag you down or you can put on the brave face and push forward. I have chose years ago when this happens to push forward. My goals are here. I can see them and they are within my grasps. THIS IS TERRIFYING. To have everything you are working so hard for actually work? Actually happen? Actually happen for me?! To me?! Get outta town!! My goal is to book my first co star and land my first agent by the end of the year. That will have made 1 1/2 years as an LA'r with MASSIVE ACCOMPLISHMENTS. Share you goals. Share them with the barista. Share them with a cab driver. Share them with your dog. IN GENERAL PEOPLE DO WANT YOU TO SUCCEED. It's like they are apart of it to when they see your excitement and drive. The haters will fade. Keep sharing your goals!!! The more you put them out there the more the universe has to hold you accountable as it shifts to make it happen. WOW, Sharing my was just SUPER FREAKING SCARY. VOM. UGH. But it's going to happen so might as well let ya'll know about it!!! XOXOXOXOX RedLipstickGal

I want the connection. -Meg Schaab, Actress/BallBuster

Do what you love and pay the price. -DW Brown, Meisner coach. “What are you pretending not to know?” -Ryan Basham, LifeCoach “Fuck em. I want the connection.” -Meg Schaab, Actress/BallBuster I was told to write about the above. My RedLipstick Thoughts on Anger. What am I angry about? Money I work hard, scratch and scrape to make bills, spend everything on my acting and I am broke. Money has never meant much to me but I am angry that I’m one bad break of a bone or illness away from having to go home. Especially when I. Work. So. Hard. It’s hard when you don’t have much to show for it financially. Relationships I am lonely. I work to put money into my career and bills that I don’t have much of a life. Scratch that. I don’t have a life. No dates. I am super bad at socializing with ‘the gentlemen’ in general. I think even if I DID have a life I’d probably still miss my mark on that. Something to work on. And I miss B. Kids/Family I want children. I want a flock of them. Adopt. Naturally. I want a family. But not like this. Not a waitress living in a studio, broke, and alone. I won’t raise my children in LA. Walls Apparently I got a lot of them. Mainly about failing. I’m not afraid of success. People with real walls never realize it I guess. Someone has to put a mirror in front of their face so they can see the concrete. The Game Game playing. Game playing the business. Game playing in LA. Real feelings-emotions-letting yourself be a fool. I can do that. No shame in my game. But game playing in networking, it’s needed. It’s always present. It’s always something I hate. I don’t want to live my life game playing. People won’t genuinely connect to game playing. I want the connection. Acting The one thing I am not angry about. The only thing at this point. I am a damn good actress. I work hard. I am talented. I push boundaries. I am not afraid to take chances. I want it to count. I want the connection.